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Old August 10th, 2017, 10:09 PM   #1
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The real target

During a holiday trip to Korea, Uncle Sam tried to emulate a herd boy playing a flute while riding on the back of a water buffalo. However, the sound of the flute attracted the unwanted attention of a tiger in a nearby forest. At the sight of the ferocious beast, the water buffalo turned abruptly to flee in the opposite direction, causing the rider to fall and hurt his shoulder. The tiger came so close that Uncle Sam could feel its hot breath on his face and see the blood vessels of its fiery eyes. The frightened man passed out but found his Korean friend staring into his eyes after recovering consciousness.

"What has happened?" asked Uncle Sam, "Am I in heaven now?"

"Not yet. Can't you see me here? It's too early for an energetic young man like me to be passed into the arms of the Lord," his friend laughed.

"I am more fearful of passing into the arms of the tiger than into the arms of the Lord," the frightened man stammered, yet to recover from his shock.

"Don't worry. You are in good hands after passing into my arms," his friend said jokingly.

He continued after a short pause, "Fortunately, neither the tiger nor the Lord loved you so much that they would want to carry you away in their arms. In short, you were neither the target nor the intended prey of the tiger. When the villagers and I heard the tiger's roar and the dying water buffalo's piercing scream, we rushed to the scene. We found you lying unconcious on the ground, while the ferocious beast dragged the bloody body of its ill-fated prey by the neck into the nearby forest. The beast definitely preferred delicious beef to skin and bones. My brother and I carried you back to our home, and here you are, neither in heaven nor hell."
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Old August 10th, 2017, 10:37 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by reedak View Post
During a holiday trip to Korea, Uncle Sam tried to emulate a herd boy playing a flute while riding on the back of a water buffalo. However, the sound of the flute attracted the unwanted attention of a tiger in a nearby forest. At the sight of the ferocious beast, the water buffalo turned abruptly to flee in the opposite direction, causing the rider to fall and hurt his shoulder. The tiger came so close that Uncle Sam could feel its hot breath on his face and see the blood vessels of its fiery eyes. The frightened man passed out but found his Korean friend staring into his eyes after recovering consciousness.

"What has happened?" asked Uncle Sam, "Am I in heaven now?"

"Not yet. Can't you see me here? It's too early for an energetic young man like me to be passed into the arms of the Lord," his friend laughed.

"I am more fearful of passing into the arms of the tiger than into the arms of the Lord," the frightened man stammered, yet to recover from his shock.

"Don't worry. You are in good hands after passing into my arms," his friend said jokingly.

He continued after a short pause, "Fortunately, neither the tiger nor the Lord loved you so much that they would want to carry you away in their arms. In short, you were neither the target nor the intended prey of the tiger. When the villagers and I heard the tiger's roar and the dying water buffalo's piercing scream, we rushed to the scene. We found you lying unconcious on the ground, while the ferocious beast dragged the bloody body of its ill-fated prey by the neck into the nearby forest. The beast definitely preferred delicious beef to skin and bones. My brother and I carried you back to our home, and here you are, neither in heaven nor hell."
Was the tigers dinner Guizhou?
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Old August 11th, 2017, 04:21 AM   #3
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WHICH holiday was the trip on?

Or was it just a vacation? (hehe)

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Old August 12th, 2017, 07:31 AM   #4
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WHICH holiday was the trip on?

Or was it just a vacation? (hehe)
You have left out honeymoon. (hoho)

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Old August 12th, 2017, 07:34 AM   #5
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Was the tigers dinner Guizhou?
Is it a typo error? You mean "Guilou"?
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Old August 12th, 2017, 09:06 AM   #6
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Is it a typo error? You mean "Guilou"?
I was referring to the buffalo.
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Old August 12th, 2017, 11:18 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by tecoyah View Post
I was referring to the buffalo.
After reading the fictitious tale, even a 6-year-old would know that the buffalo had ended up as the tiger's dinner.

So "Guizhou" means buffalo to you? I am curious to know what language is "Guizhou". Is it one of the Native American dialects?

Surely you understand the personification of "Uncle Sam". What does the water buffalo represent in the satire?
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Old August 12th, 2017, 11:52 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by reedak View Post
After reading the fictitious tale, even a 6-year-old would know that the buffalo had ended up as the tiger's dinner.

So "Guizhou" means buffalo to you? I am curious to know what language is "Guizhou". Is it one of the Native American dialects?

Surely you understand the personification of "Uncle Sam". What does the water buffalo represent in the satire?
Nevermind.
Guizhou is a mountainous province in southwest China. It's known for its traditional rural villages, inhabited by minority groups like the Miao and Dong. It's also famed for 74m-high Huangguoshu Waterfall. Nearby, Dragon Palace Cave is an extensive underground system with waterways. The local water buffalo is also referred to by this name.

Obviously my attempt at humor was ineffective.
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Old August 12th, 2017, 04:25 PM   #9
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Old August 13th, 2017, 12:18 AM   #10
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Nevermind.
Guizhou is a mountainous province in southwest China. It's known for its traditional rural villages, inhabited by minority groups like the Miao and Dong. It's also famed for 74m-high Huangguoshu Waterfall. Nearby, Dragon Palace Cave is an extensive underground system with waterways. The local water buffalo is also referred to by this name.

Obviously my attempt at humor was ineffective.
Never mind. Don't take it too seriously. Whether effective or ineffective, your attempt at humour is praiseworthy.
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Old August 13th, 2017, 12:32 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Aufgeblassen View Post
The North Korean devil incarnate is generally regarded as the US target. However, in my satire Uncle Sam, who is regarded as the personification of America, was riding on the back of a water buffalo. Kim is too aggressive and brutal to be personified by the water buffalo. It is unthinkable for the "Great Sun of the 21st Century" to let anyone ride on his back unless he is captured by Uncle Sam one day.

The water buffalo and the tiger obviously represent an ally and a foe of America respectively. Hence, how could fat boy Kim be personified by the water buffalo?

In conclusion, what country is represented by the water buffalo in the satire?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/afp...-congress.html

Last edited by reedak; August 13th, 2017 at 01:27 AM.
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Old September 3rd, 2017, 04:35 AM   #12
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The local water buffalo is also referred to by this name....
You seem to know more Chinese than a Chinese. If you had said "Guiniu" (meaning "expensive cattle") instead of "Guizhou", your explanation would sound more convincing.
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Old September 3rd, 2017, 06:14 AM   #13
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My apology for the error as I am not fluent in the languages...I will avoid further disruption of your thread.
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Old September 3rd, 2017, 01:47 PM   #14
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My apology for the error as I am not fluent in the languages...I will avoid further disruption of your thread.
Apology accepted.
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