A curious armed robbery case

Jun 2013
There had been reports of a series of armed robberies and indecent exposure incidents in the neighbourhood. In spite of such reports, a girl -- let's call her Miss A -- went about her business as if nothing had happened. In fact, she hoped to meet the robber so as to teach him a lesson. She had been learning kungfu for three years and was eager to test her skill on the robber. As an additional safeguard for her security, she carried a canister of home-made pepper spray whenever she ventured outside.

One evening as usual she took a lift back to her home in a block of flats after work. Before the door could close, a man suddenly rushed in. He took out a knife from his pocket and demanded her to hand over her handbag. In response, Miss A took out her canister of pepper spray from her pocket, saying: "Get out of here at once before I blind your eyes!"

The robber shouted, "You can spray anywhere on my body except my eyes. If you dare to blind me, I will lash out at you with this knife to ensure you won't leave this place alive!"

Miss A retorted, "I am not a moron to be bound hands and feet by your rule in a life-and-death struggle!"

"Don't you know that you have broken the law? Pepper spray is not permissible for civilian use in this part of the country except for law enforcement officers."

"I doubt your claim that it is illegal for civilians to own and carry pepper spray. I have the right to resort to every means of self-defence."

"Don't you know that pepper spray is classified as an offensive weapon? You can call the police now for confirmation," said the robber.

"I don't have a mobile phone with me," said Miss A.

"I can lend you my mobile phone," said the robber as he passed his phone to the girl who was amazed by the incredible offer. The robber listened intently as Miss A started to call the police, but her words absolutely infuriated him.

"How dare you to call the police to arrest me! I just want you to confirm with the police that pepper spray is banned from civilian use," shouted the robber. "Return my mobile phone and surrender your handbag at once otherwise I shall expose myself!"

"I shall spray at your top and bottom if you dare to do so. The police will arrive within five minutes. Leave here at once before it is too late!" shouted the girl.

Just then, the lift door opened and they saw a man outside. The robber rushed out at once, with Miss A and the man in hot pursuit, shouting “Robbery! Robbery! ” However, the robber was too fast for them. They soon lost sight of him as he made his way down a staircase. Meanwhile they heard the police sirens, knowing the police had just arrived.

Miss A suddenly remembered that she still had the robber's mobile phone by which the police could trace his identity and make arrest. One thing she regretted over the incident was that she missed the chance to test her kungfu skill on the robber. From then onwards, she stopped carrying the canister of pepper spray in the hope that she could encounter another robbery to test her kungfu skill.
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Southern Dad

Forum Staff
Aug 2018
Shady Dale, Georgia
Back in the early 70's, my grandmother lived on Wooster Avenue in Akron, Ohio. She had lived there for more than forty years. The neighborhood had continued to decline. Yet, my grandmother continued to walk down the hill to Akron every day. She walked to church. She walked to the doctor. She walked to do her shopping. One day she got mugged. The mugger took her purse.

A few days later, she got mugged again. She started carrying her real money in her bra but kept a couple bucks in her purse. After several muggings, a police officer gave her a .22 pistol. When the mugger confronted her, she took it out of her purse and pointed it at the mugger. Without missing a beat the mugger took the weapon from her and still took her money.

The next day, she put a can of florescent spray paint in her pocketbook. When the mugger menaced her, she spray painted his face. The officers came, and found him throwing up in the alley. He thought that he had been maced and kept insisting that he was not the mugger. When they searched his apartment they found over a hundred purses complete with identification of the victims. The police brought all the old ladies to the jail to pick him out of a line up. His face was still glow in the dark green.

Originally he demanded a jury trial but when he saw all of the mad old ladies in the courtroom he changed his plea to guilty.
Oct 2012
Louisville, Ky
Back in the 60's, my second wifes cousins best friends grandmother lived in Des Moines, IA on Saltisan Dr.,behind the Chevron station. She ate cat food every Saturday with Maggie Baker down the street and they both took JuJitsu from Mr. Wan for protection. One day Maggie brought an AK to lunch saying she had been raped by Mexicans yesterday and they took her bingo winnings so she wanted more protection. Grannie and Maggie began the O.W.L.S (old ladies with Spunk) movement that morphed into #MeToo as we know it today.