If only...Obama listened

Oct 25, 2012
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Louisville, Ky
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DENVER—Noting that tonight’s debate against Mitt Romney would last a full hour and a half, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly urged President Obama to “rub one out” so that he could “get pussy off the mind” before taking the stage at 9 p.m. Eastern time. “Look, Barry, you need to keep your head in the game up there, and you sure as shit can’t focus if you’ve got a full load flaring up inside you,” said Biden, telling Obama he should feel free to think about the first lady, “Jill [Biden], or whoever pops into your head while you’re polishing the ol’ Capitol dome.” “Hell, I must’ve yanked the crank a good eight or nine times before my debate with Sarah Palin back in ’08…and a few times after, too, if you catch my drift.” At press time, sources reported seeing the president enter a private bathroom with Biden’s “rare and always reliable” January 1979 edition of Playboy.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/biden-implores-obama-to-rub-one-out-before-debate,29785/



Thankfully, the accumulated spermal retention did not derail his campaign enough to lose the election. But had he either followed the advice, or taken Michelle when the kids went to sleep...he would have done better.

:eek::p:giggle:
 

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