So now that we know what we know

Jun 2013
530
31
Earth
#1
A cow begged a butcher and his two assistants at an abattoir to spare its life.

Cow: Sir, what did I do to deserve this fate?

Butcher: The two cows that had been kept together with you in the same cowshed were found dead this morning. Our findings are as clear as they are compelling. We know you had killed them.

Cow: Sir, I had been sleeping soundly throughout the whole night. I did not know what had happened to them. What is your compelling evidence?

Butcher: We know you have the sharpest horns in the cowshed. We know that you have used your horns multiple times this year, and have used them on a “smaller scale” against the two cows, i.e. fighting with them for a short while last week.

Cow: Sir, that was because they attacked me, and I had to defend myself. I did not fight with them last night.

Butcher: Both of them were gored to death by horns. We know you had killed them.

Cow: Sir, I was sleeping soundly throughout the night. When I woke up, they were already dead.

Butcher: You are the only cow found alive in the cowshed. We know you are the murderer.

Cow: Sir, I did not fight with them last night. Both of them must have killed each other in a fight.

Butcher: In a fight, there must be a loser and a victor. It’s impossible for a fight to end up with two losers. We know you are the murderer.

Cow: Sir, I had been sleeping throughout the whole night. I am innocent. Let’s ask your assistants for their opinions.

First Assistant: We believe what we know.

Second Assistant: And we know what we know.

Butcher: So now that we know what we know, the question we must all be asking is: What will we do? You should know the answer.