Romney Reveals All: Shock pre-election interview

[Koloborbust]

In this exclusive interview with Koloborbust, Mitt explains how he will give tax cuts to the rich, increase defense spending, create 12 million new jobs, and revitalize the economy.

K: Mr Romney, isn't it true that there are no plans at all to build American jeeps in China? It's complete BS, isn't it?

Romney: Well, not exactly. You see, the truth is, it was my idea. Who wants to build cars when you can participate in my plan to create 12 million new jobs?

K: Could you be specific? What exactly is your plan, and how do you get from a plan to real job creation?

Romney: OK. That's a fair question, so here's how it's going to work. You probably know that members of my church have been blessed with the gift of Magic Underwear. Well, it seems to me only right that such a blessing should extend to all citizens of this fine country. But we need a few million or so hard working folks to get out there and make these garments available to the whole nation. They can't be produced anywhere else but right here, and they're going to be sold right here. That's part one of my plan. Part two is tourism. Believe me Bucko, this is going to create millions of new jobs.

K: Tourism? What kind of tourism?

Romney: You've heard of the planet Kolob, right? We know through the revelations of Joseph Smith that God resides on or maybe near the planet Kolob. That's where we're going. It's a world first - Even you can get close to God with a guided tour of Kolob.

K: umm…Mr Romney, astronomers have never been able to locate Kolob.

Romney: Don't you worry about that. I'm confident that Kolob will be located in time for the inaugural flight.

K: Getting back to the topic of American cars being made in China…

Romney: Who wants to build cars when you can make and market Magic Underwear. Mexicans mow our lawns and pick our cotton! Why shouldn't the Chinese make cars for us? With the money we make selling our auto production we can easily fund tax cuts, AND increased military, I mean 'defense' spending.

 

[a777pilot]

Go away, kid. You're bothering me.

 

[Cerise]

In this exclusive interview with Koloborbust, Mitt explains how he will give tax cuts to the rich, increase defense spending, create 12 million new jobs, and revitalize the economy.

K: Mr Romney, isn't it true that there are no plans at all to build American jeeps in China? It's complete BS, isn't it?

Romney: Well, not exactly. You see, the truth is, it was my idea. Who wants to build cars when you can participate in my plan to create 12 million new jobs?

K: Could you be specific? What exactly is your plan, and how do you get from a plan to real job creation?

Romney: OK. That's a fair question, so here's how it's going to work. You probably know that members of my church have been blessed with the gift of Magic Underwear. Well, it seems to me only right that such a blessing should extend to all citizens of this fine country. But we need a few million or so hard working folks to get out there and make these garments available to the whole nation. They can't be produced anywhere else but right here, and they're going to be sold right here. That's part one of my plan. Part two is tourism. Believe me Bucko, this is going to create millions of new jobs.

K: Tourism? What kind of tourism?

Romney: You've heard of the planet Kolob, right? We know through the revelations of Joseph Smith that God resides on or maybe near the planet Kolob. That's where we're going. It's a world first - Even you can get close to God with a guided tour of Kolob.

K: umm…Mr Romney, astronomers have never been able to locate Kolob.

Romney: Don't you worry about that. I'm confident that Kolob will be located in time for the inaugural flight.

K: Getting back to the topic of American cars being made in China…

Romney: Who wants to build cars when you can make and market Magic Underwear. Mexicans mow our lawns and pick our cotton! Why shouldn't the Chinese make cars for us? With the money we make selling our auto production we can easily fund tax cuts, AND increased military, I mean 'defense' spending.

Thats funny

 

[ThirdTerm]

A Romney presidency will be good for the Asia-Pacific region's security because China will be discouraged from intimidating and dominating its regional neighbours and it will be prevented from becoming a regional hegemon it aspires to be and he is also committed to disarming North Korea. Romney will be tough on outsourcing manufacturing jobs to China and China's currency manipulation will be addressed, which would contribute to America's economic recovery.

http://www.mittromney.com/issues/china-east-asia

 

[tecoyah]

A Romney presidency will be good for the Asia-Pacific region's security because China will be discouraged from intimidating and dominating its regional neighbours and it will be prevented from becoming a regional hegemon it aspires to be and he is also committed to disarming North Korea. Romney will be tough on outsourcing manufacturing jobs to China and China's currency manipulation will be addressed, which would contribute to America's economic recovery.

http://www.mittromney.com/issues/china-east-asia

I just wonder how you "Know" any of that, as it is very clear his stance today could be dramatically different when he became President.

I actually think Romney could be a good President, it's the "Could" part that scares me...no one actually knows what he will do, who he is, or how he will do what he says he will.

 

[clax]

I just wonder how you "Know" any of that, as it is very clear his stance today could be dramatically different when he became President.

I actually think Romney could be a good President, it's the "Could" part that scares me...no one actually knows what he will do, who he is, or how he will do what he says he will.

Isn't that the case with any president elect aside from an incumbent

 

[Koloborbust]

My post was a pretty poor excuse for satire. I'm not a comedian.
Throughout this presidential campaign I haven't seen much in-depth scrutiny of Mr. Romney, his policies, his beliefs, and his credentials, not to the extent I would expect to see in an Australian election, for example. I was hoping to draw attention to that.
Many of the views publicly expressed by people on Romney's side of the political spectrum are maniacal. Climate change denial, absurd statements about about rape victims and pregnancy, a philosophical longing for the Laissez-faire approach to economic management that landed the US in the worst depression since the 1930s: I'm hardly scratching the surface and already its a pretty frightening picture. Can anyone who believes they are wearing magic underwear be much more than marginally sane? At least Obama is more or less predictable.
There is no quick fix for the current state of the U.S. economy.

 

[David]

Isn't that the case with any president elect aside from an incumbent

They all lie but Romney seems to go from liberal, to social conservative, to fascist depending on who he's talking to. Even the people that know him personally can't pin him down due to his randomness.