Alienated by my church

clax · Oct 13, 2012

This isn't about God, this is about christianity.

I have been going to a church for several years with my lover. My lover's parents disowned him completely, told him to have no contact with their family. So when I meet him, he was quite a bit younger than me. But he was in deep depression, I worked very hard with him to get through it. He eventually did. Apparently his parents have been busy. He has a little brother the last time he saw him he was a baby. Well the little brother is apparently gay too. He was kicked out, not sure if he was disowned yet but he is 14 years old. So Evan and I took him in. It was very emotional, we made sure we were legally able to take the boy in. Evan is now the guardian. But aside from that our church, which never seemed to weird about us being a homosexual couple. They noticed Chris with us, asked who it was, I let Evan take the lead, he explained that he was his little bro, that he had taken guardianship of him. All of the sudden our sexuality is not acceptable. The boy has no home, so I took him into my home. Evan and I are not "overtly gay" you would never guess if you meet him or I. But Chris is a young person and they tend to be in the trend, so he is "fabulous" I figured that's what people had issue with, but it absolutely was not.

Chris is young scared and betrayed by people he trusted most. How can so called Christians be so cruel to him, I hipped he would have been welcomed by my church. I went alone last Sunday because Evan needed to attend to Chris. Members insisted on telling me how wrong it was that a gay man was acting as a parent. To the members that said such things I asked if they want to look after a 14to gay boy. Of course I heard absurd exuses. I left before the service started, I don't wasn't to take my family there tomorrow.

Is this typical of Christian churches? What are your thoughts?

David · Oct 13, 2012

Go to a mainline church, otherwise it's going to be more of the same. That's not to say you won't get weird looks but mainline churches take the whole 'love your neighbor' thing seriously. Evangelical churches will all be the same if you're open about your situation and Catholic/Orthodox churches are hit and miss. Mainline is the way to go if you don't want to take any chances and you have several denominations to chose from so you should be able to find something ideologically compatible.

Or you could just stop being Christian. Plenty of theists our there who've given up on organized religion, it's not like you'd be some revolutionary radical.

clax · Oct 13, 2012

David said:
Go to a mainline church, otherwise it's going to be more of the same. That's not to say you won't get weird looks but mainline churches take the whole 'love your neighbor' thing seriously. Evangelical churches will all be the same if you're open about your situation and Catholic/Orthodox churches are hit and miss. Mainline is the way to go if you don't want to take any chances and you have several denominations to chose from so you should be able to find something ideologically compatible.

Or you could just stop being Christian. Plenty of theists our there who've given up on organized religion, it's not like you'd be some revolutionary radical.

I am just real worried because Chris is so fragile right now. I am glad he has us, but I worry with school. This all happened so quickly, every bit of stability Chris needs Evan needs too. I am glad we have each other

I am not sure about this mainline church I have never heard of it. Perhaps we will just be together at home for a while and build on our family. I have worked with kids Chris's age but its different when they love with you. Every thing is so important.

David · Oct 13, 2012

clax said:
I am just real worried because Chris is so fragile right now. I am glad he has us, but I worry with school. This all happened so quickly, every bit of stability Chris needs Evan needs too. I am glad we have each other

I am not sure about this mainline church I have never heard of it. Perhaps we will just be together at home for a while and build on our family. I have worked with kids Chris's age but its different when they love with you. Every thing is so important.

Mainline churches are into social justice more then fire and brimstone or evangelicalism (not that they don't touch on the subjects but they don't define themselves by them). Like evangelical churches, mainline churches are mostly protestant, I don't know if that's an issue for you.

clax · Oct 14, 2012

David said:
Mainline churches are into social justice more then fire and brimstone or evangelicalism (not that they don't touch on the subjects but they don't define themselves by them). Like evangelical churches, mainline churches are mostly protestant, I don't know if that's an issue for you.

Well Evan and Chris were raised LDS. When I met Evan he still wanted to be LDS, so we went to temple. I was raised catholic, so quite a clash of faiths there. But LDS didn't sit right with Evan any more. Plus I am not sure if they knew we were lovers.

That vibe I got from our church was not something I think Evan and Chris should have to feel. I rally want to talk with Evan see what he thinks. I just think we should focus on us for a while. Get Chris situated. Then go church shopping.

David · Oct 14, 2012

clax said:
Well Evan and Chris were raised LDS. When I met Evan he still wanted to be LDS, so we went to temple. I was raised catholic, so quite a clash of faiths there. But LDS didn't sit right with Evan any more. Plus I am not sure if they knew we were lovers.

That vibe I got from our church was not something I think Evan and Chris should have to feel. I rally want to talk with Evan see what he thinks. I just think we should focus on us for a while. Get Chris situated. Then go church shopping.

A Catholic in a Mormon temple? :giggle: If you can handle that' you should have no issue going to a protestant church, at least they're the same religion.

clax · Oct 14, 2012

David said:
A Catholic in a Mormon temple? :giggle: If you can handle that' you should have no issue going to a protestant church, at least they're the same religion.

In a house full of mormans. It was different

David · Oct 14, 2012

clax said:
In a house full of mormans. It was different

Ya, I wouldn't be able to go. Just too weird for me.

Cerise · Oct 14, 2012

It's a shame that this situation has occurred for all of you and another shame that people do not practice what they preach when it comes to the crunch. I hope you will all find what you seek.

clax · Oct 14, 2012

Cerise said:
It's a shame that this situation has occurred for all of you and another shame that people do not practice what they preach when it comes to the crunch. I hope you will all find what you seek.

I wonder if this is why people seem to detest religion?

clax · Oct 14, 2012

David said:
Ya, I wouldn't be able to go. Just too weird for me.

Evan and Chris at sweet guys though

Cerise · Oct 15, 2012

clax said:
I wonder if this is why people seem to detest religion?

The word Hypocrit springs to mind doesn't it? ie say one thing and do another.

clax · Oct 15, 2012

Cerise said:
The word Hypocrit springs to mind doesn't it? ie say one thing and do another.

The thing that really sticks in my craw is they didn't give a damn that Chris was just treated brutally by so called loving people.what would have happened if he was there last week. Thank good ness Evan took him clothes doing.

Cerise · Oct 15, 2012

clax said:
The thing that really sticks in my craw is they didn't give a damn that Chris was just treated brutally by so called loving people.what would have happened if he was there last week. Thank good ness Evan took him clothes doing.

#

Perhaps one day they will realize exactly what they've done, how much misery has been caused and exactly what they have lost.

clax · Oct 15, 2012

Cerise said:
#

Perhaps one day they will realize exactly what they've done, how much misery has been caused and exactly what they have lost.

I wanted to go over there and talk to them, Evan and Chris are small guys but I am a hulking giant, so I figure I can use my size to persuade, but Evan wishes to not be involved.

Dirk · Oct 15, 2012

clax said:
I am just real worried because Chris is so fragile right now. I am glad he has us, but I worry with school. This all happened so quickly, every bit of stability Chris needs Evan needs too. I am glad we have each other

I am not sure about this mainline church I have never heard of it. Perhaps we will just be together at home for a while and build on our family. I have worked with kids Chris's age but its different when they love with you. Every thing is so important.

Whatever you decide to do, it's obvious that you want to act in the kid's best interest. That's how it should be. If he's in a fragile state, ensure you don't expose him to an environment where he will feel unwelcome or discriminated against.

David · Oct 15, 2012

Cerise said:
The word Hypocrit springs to mind doesn't it? ie say one thing and do another.

Went to church yesterday (ya, ya, I know I'm not a Christian but I like to keep an open mind) and the pastor made a point of calling his fellow Christians hypocritical bastards. Was refreshing.

Cerise · Oct 15, 2012

David said:
Went to church yesterday (ya, ya, I know I'm not a Christian but I like to keep an open mind) and the pastor made a point of calling his fellow Christians hypocritical bastards. Was refreshing.

I like the sound of him

Dirk · Oct 15, 2012

I'm first to admit that outside work and union meetings, I have very little contact with Christians at all. So I tend to let them get along with things, but I don't want them to restrict my freedoms, or those of others.

clax · Oct 15, 2012

David said:
Went to church yesterday (ya, ya, I know I'm not a Christian but I like to keep an open mind) and the pastor made a point of calling his fellow Christians hypocritical bastards. Was refreshing.

None of us are perfect. But I took in a boy that no doubt would have been a street kid, homeless. As sad as it seems I have seen kids younger than him that are prostitutes. Both genders.

Alienated by my church

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