Same sex marriage - has the time come?

[curious]

I've read a few articles in news magazines lately pointing out how rapidly the attitude toward same-sex marriage has changed, and how little outcry there has been over recent laws and court rulings. (I say same-sex because, given the ending of Boston Legal, obviously homosexuality is not required.)

How and why do you there has been such a shift in views?

My thought is that thepeople who were opposed made such ridiculous arguements that they defeated themselves. If you claim that same-sex marriage will destroy the institurion of marriage, and same-sex marriage is legalized, then you have to produce a whole lot of mixed-sex marriages that ended as a result. Or at least one heterosexual couple that decided not to marry as a result of the change in the law. When that didn't happen, none of the arguments against it made any sense.

 

[Sparks]

I have no problem with same sex marriage. I do have some concern about the effect on younger people, but ultimately I think that denying people the chance to declare their love and make a serious legal commitment to each other is more destructive than it is potentially "contaminating" to society.

It seems to be fundamentalist Christians and the bible's prohibition to sodomy that gets their steam up. Sexuality seems such problem for folks from the Middle East, both past and present.

 

[The Parakeet]

There is a problem. Marriage is a religious institution. It's one that the state choose to recognize...but it is religious in nature. That put us in a bit of a rough spot on how to really solve this. Ideally civil unions would be just fine, but people seem to want more.

I personally have nothing against it. I've always thought the argument ridiculous too. 24-hour weddings in Las Vegas make a mockery of marriage. A huge divorce rate makes a mockery of marriage. Lots of things make a mockery of marriage, but you don't hear people complaining about them. Just our conservative values kicking in. Even that's stupid though. Most of Leviticus is ignored except for the one convenient part about homosexuality...the logic blinders these people have must be pretty effective for that to be okay. Plus...can't they understand that sodomy was only against church law because they wanted lots of little Christian babies to spread the faith?

Same sex marriage wouldn't even be a big deal really. It wouldn't change anything. Just allow people's paperwork to be easier. All it's doing is making the religious fundamentals alienate more and more people from their religion (a win for atheists ).

 

[GekiDan]

I have heard that same sex marriage is allowed in the States. And many people go there just to get married. In my opinion, I'm not against the love with same sex but marriage is a sacred and religious commitment. And like what the Church always saying, marriage is only for a man and a woman who loved each other.

 

[Sparks]

Religious or Civil?

I have heard that same sex marriage is allowed in the States. And many people go there just to get married. In my opinion, I'm not against the love with same sex but marriage is a sacred and religious commitment. And like what the Church always saying, marriage is only for a man and a woman who loved each other.

Well, that works if you are a Christian and follow their teachings closely. But marriage occurs in non-Christian societies too. So I don't see it as being exclusive to any one religion. And once it is something that is dependent upon views and culture, I think the idea that it must be just this way or that way goes by the wayside.

I don't dismiss the idea that marriage can be very religious to the individuals involved, but I don't think it has to be religious, it can be civil also. And ultimately it is about love and commitment. I don't see those things as being limited by gender or denomination.

 

[deanhills]

I've read a few articles in news magazines lately pointing out how rapidly the attitude toward same-sex marriage has changed, and how little outcry there has been over recent laws and court rulings. (I say same-sex because, given the ending of Boston Legal, obviously homosexuality is not required.)

How and why do you there has been such a shift in views?

My thought is that thepeople who were opposed made such ridiculous arguements that they defeated themselves. If you claim that same-sex marriage will destroy the institurion of marriage, and same-sex marriage is legalized, then you have to produce a whole lot of mixed-sex marriages that ended as a result. Or at least one heterosexual couple that decided not to marry as a result of the change in the law. When that didn't happen, none of the arguments against it made any sense.

I'm OK with same-sex relationships and marriages. I am a little embarrased when I have to witness a public smooching session, but then by the same token I feel just as embarrassed if it were by non-gay partners. I think I'm OK with preferences until it is pushed right into my face. I really do not like people who protest too much in any direction. I also think this is personal and there is no need to shout about it on street corners.

 

[Glee]

As a lesbian, I have no problems with same-sex marriage. However, as a person, I think marriage is a long out dated institution that is filled with more stress and failures than benefits. So even if I was allowed to marry another girl, I don't think I would. I don't need the church or the government to tell me that I love someone and that I intend to be with them. I can do that on my own, thanks. No offense to everyone who has chosen that lifestyle. More power to you, and I hope things work out fine. But I'm just saying the reason there are crazy divorce rates is because people change, they never are the same. And people fall in and out of love just as much as they change their shoes. It's rare if you find that one person you know you'll be with forever, so for those who find that, I love you! But for those who are just sticking out a marriage just because you think you have too... or your comfortable with how things are, even if your not happy... or your scared to find someone new... you have my pity!

Anyway, those are my opinions.

 

[GekiDan]

I respect your opinion, Glee. We all have different opinions on thing so it's ok. And I didn't know you're a lesbian.

About your comment about marriage. It's true that it's hard to find a person that you will love forever. Many people who are married then after a month or year, even hours after marriage, tends to talk about divorce or annulment. And many people even do think that live-in is much better.

 

[Dirk]

I think a lot of the time, religious fundamentalists will insist on making rules like this for marriage. But it's just another form of oppression. Why should it be the choice of law that decides whether you get married or not? if there are two people in love and they want to get married, there should be no problem.

As a lesbian, I have no problems with same-sex marriage. However, as a person, I think marriage is a long out dated institution that is filled with more stress and failures than benefits. So even if I was allowed to marry another girl, I don't think I would. I don't need the church or the government to tell me that I love someone and that I intend to be with them. I can do that on my own, thanks. No offense to everyone who has chosen that lifestyle. More power to you, and I hope things work out fine. But I'm just saying the reason there are crazy divorce rates is because people change, they never are the same. And people fall in and out of love just as much as they change their shoes. It's rare if you find that one person you know you'll be with forever, so for those who find that, I love you! But for those who are just sticking out a marriage just because you think you have too... or your comfortable with how things are, even if your not happy... or your scared to find someone new... you have my pity!

Anyway, those are my opinions.

I think you're right in a lot of that - i don't think that there should be anyone to tell us who to love or, in this case, how long. Because marriage is about commitment - "till death do us part" and all that. (I'm applying this to me, btw). I couldn't commit to marriage with anyone because marriage is a guarantee that you're supposedly going to love someone 'til they or you die. And, on another note, why should we have something that doesn't even work for straight couples? I'm bi, by the way.

 

[deanhills]

As a lesbian, I have no problems with same-sex marriage. However, as a person, I think marriage is a long out dated institution that is filled with more stress and failures than benefits. So even if I was allowed to marry another girl, I don't think I would. I don't need the church or the government to tell me that I love someone and that I intend to be with them. I can do that on my own, thanks. No offense to everyone who has chosen that lifestyle. More power to you, and I hope things work out fine. But I'm just saying the reason there are crazy divorce rates is because people change, they never are the same. And people fall in and out of love just as much as they change their shoes. It's rare if you find that one person you know you'll be with forever, so for those who find that, I love you! But for those who are just sticking out a marriage just because you think you have too... or your comfortable with how things are, even if your not happy... or your scared to find someone new... you have my pity!

Anyway, those are my opinions.

Agreed. Marriage is rather an outdated institution. But that is probably also a personal point of ivew. Some people genuinely believe in the institution, and it makes them happy to do the marriage thing. Also to struggle with the marriage thing. After 20 years they can say some of it is good and some of it is not so good, but we did it and now we are going to get married again!

 

[Delta]

Well, that works if you are a Christian and follow their teachings closely. But marriage occurs in non-Christian societies too. So I don't see it as being exclusive to any one religion. And once it is something that is dependent upon views and culture, I think the idea that it must be just this way or that way goes by the wayside.

There is a problem. Marriage is a religious institution. It's one that the state choose to recognize...but it is religious in nature.

Marriage is as little Christian as Christmas is. I'm pretty sure that marriage was around long before it was even considered a religious thing and definitely before Christianity was around. Religion wasn't even involved in marriages until around 30 CE in Ancient Greece. It was more of a business/legal thing than anything.

As far as why views are changing - I think we see it in a lot of places other than just marriage. I think people are just sick of the church trying to control everything - and now that we aren't getting hanged, burned or ostracized (although maybe still a bit of the latter) for voicing our opinion, people are standing up for what they truly believe in.

 

[DodgeFB]

Everyone has their own opinion. Mine is maybe they should just "outlaw" all marriage instead of expanding it. Too many unhappy marriages and too many children wondering if they are to blame.

 

[Dirk]

Everyone has their own opinion. Mine is maybe they should just "outlaw" all marriage instead of expanding it. Too many unhappy marriages and too many children wondering if they are to blame.

I think that people should have a choice, and as Tacitus so rightly said:

"The country with the most laws is the most corrupt."

You'd only be limiting people's choices. Therefore, restricting freedom. Something i'd be against.

 

[DodgeFB]

I think that people should have a choice, and as Tacitus so rightly said:

"The country with the most laws is the most corrupt."

You'd only be limiting people's choices. Therefore, restricting freedom. Something i'd be against.

I bet you would! But I have been married for over 30 years. I have felt my "freedom" restricted many times.

 

[Glee]

Wowness, I'm surprised at the amount of comments agreeing with me. Thanks so much, I felt that perhaps I was going a bit far here, but I'm glad that I'm not alone.

 

[DodgeFB]

Wowness, I'm surprised at the amount of comments agreeing with me. Thanks so much, I felt that perhaps I was going a bit far here, but I'm glad that I'm not alone.

So far I have not run into any mean "trolls" here. I for one one respect your opinion. Sometimes I may not agree or understand it. But I can respect it anyway. Long as there is no sex with children or animals I try to understand.

 

[curious]

There have been other predictions of the death of marriage as an institution. I'm of the generation of the sexual revolution, when all us young women were told that if we had sex with men we weren't married to, making sex readily available, that men would no longer want to get married. And that no man would marry someone who wasn't a virgin unless she were a widow or divorcee. They were wrong, and they are wrong about the impact of this change as well.

 

[Dirk]

I bet you would! But I have been married for over 30 years. I have felt my "freedom" restricted many times.

*laughs* But you don't deny that you had a choice to marry them? And people should have the freedom to make mistakes, should they not? I, for one, don't think that there is only one truth out there...

 

[DodgeFB]

*laughs* But you don't deny that you had a choice to marry them? And people should have the freedom to make mistakes, should they not? I, for one, don't think that there is only one truth out there...

Many truths to be sure. I guess I could have stayed single. But there is love and there is hating to get up and go home on a cold winter night.

 

[deanhills]

I, for one, don't think that there is only one truth out there...

I like this. As I believe this too. I found a quote on this a few weeks ago that really describes how I feel about this:

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge
Stephen William Hawking, British Physicist (1942- )